One Mad Mom’s Predictions for 2022

Always fun to make predictions on the upcoming year. Here are last year’s predictions, and I think I did pretty well, if I do say so myself! https://onemadmom.foedus.co/one-mad-moms-predictions-for-2021/

With that, here are my predictions for 2022!

10. Two seconds after midnight on January 1, someone will say that Pope Francis will retire in the next few weeks , a bunch of people will get whipped into a frenzy, and it won’t happen.

9. A whole bunch more priests will be canceled in the early part of the year, and then will be vindicated in the public square in the latter half.

8. Cardinal Cupich will not be in Chicago after this year. The reason is unclear (although I have someone holding an envelope with my very specific prediction) and there is a myriad of possibilities but one is…

7. The second part of Cardinal George’s prophecy will come true and Cardinal Cupich will be the highest-ranking Church official on the cell block.

6. Since, well, COVID is forever, Pope Francis will announce the Synod on the Synod on the Synod on the Synod… What’s the rush?! Germany got bored two seconds into the New Year anyway and just admitted to going full-scale Luther. Other than the admission, nothing changed in Germany.

5. Bishop McElroy finally makes Cardinal of Washington D.C. but then he gets his 5th booster. Gosh darn it, you’ve got to give him kudos for postponing that last one until he finally achieved his dream and, oh…

4. There will be a big shuffling of the deck as the 5th booster kills off most of the world’s prelates that didn’t die after they got the 3nd one. The “German problem,” ironically, will have been solved by Bill Gates and Fauci. The recently minted Cardinal Cordileone (just because Pope Francis figured the U.S. had to have at least one other cardinal) will still be pointing out it’s not immoral to be unvaxxed. McElroy, on his deathbed, will still be arguing about how uncharitable the unvaxxed are. James Martin, SJLGBTQ+ will be saying “Yeah! What he said!”

3, Xi Jinping will announce himself to be the new pope and Pope Francis will decide “Why not!” and decide it’s a good time to retire. James Martin, SJLGBTQ+ will be his first visitor, but sadly for Martin, Xi Jinping will shoot whoever let him in. Fr. Martin’s in will be out.

2. The unvaxxed prelates will finally unite, tell Xi Jinping he’s out, and the conclave will be glorious. Buh-bye Traditiones Custodes and the “Mass wars” that come with it!

1. No matter where Cardinal Cupich ends up, he will still be a narcissistic jerk. I know. That one’s a gimmee.

In any case, I am ever hopeful the Church’s mess will be cleaned up in the New Year! A blessed New Year to you all! Virgin Most Powerful, pray for us!